


Night Terrors

by Stormchild



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-07
Updated: 2014-03-07
Packaged: 2018-01-14 21:02:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 606
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1278709
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stormchild/pseuds/Stormchild
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jean can’t get over losing Marco, and Bertholdt can’t stop feeling guilty.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Night Terrors

It’s not an uncommon occurrence. Someone waking up in the middle of the night, their screams disrupting everyone else. It’s Jean tonight. It was never him before Marco’s death, but no-one can really blame him. (No-one’s going to say it out loud, but they’re all wondering how he can function in the field when he can barely function in the barracks.)

Bertholdt jolts up, hands coming up to the back of his neck without a thought. An arm wraps around him, pulling him close in against Reiner’s chest. He has to catch Reiner’s wrist before his hand drifts too close to his mouth. The grip is iron despite how he’s shaking.

"Marco!" Jean screams, voice cracking. "Mar- _CO_!”

Jean breaks off with a wail that Bertholdt feels right in his chest. He sounds like a wounded animal. 

It makes Bertholdt feel sick, right down in the pit of his stomach. His gut twists like he ate something bad and got punched. He feels Reiner’s long exhale more than he hears it, the blonde’s head coming to rest on his shoulder.

The sobs start coming out as choked whimpers. As much as they all hate to be woken, when everyone here has such issues sleeping already, few of them haven’t woken everyone with nightmare induced cries. 

If he and Reiner weren’t so put together with practiced composure, Bertholdt is sure they would wake up with screams on their lips instead of painful gasps and fingers pressing hard into skin. (They aren’t the only ones who sleep together. Maybe Marco’s arms around Jean helped with the nightmares the way Reiner’s do with Bertholdt.)

Reiner’s hand traces soft circles on his stomach, coaxing him to lie back down.

"It’s nothing," he mumbled. "Let’s go back to sleep."

But Bertholdt can still hear the small chant of, “Marco, Marco, Marco,” from a row down. Or maybe he’s imagining it. Either way, Bertholdt doesn’t know how he could possibly sleep while guilt chews at his intestines the way he’s seen titans do with his comrades. 

He lays down anyway, only with Reimer’s coaxing. His muscles are so tight. He can hear Reiner’s voice in his ear, telling him there’s nothing to be afraid of, they aren’t being attacked. A hand pries his fingers from his neck, lips pressing to the spot with a soft kiss. 

"Relax, Bertl. You’re safe, I got you. You know I’ll protect you."

Bertholdt squirmed a little. He didn’t need protecting, it wasn’t that. But he couldn’t very well say out loud what it really was.

"It isn’t… right," he whispered.

Reiner exhaled again, with a small nod this time.

"I know. I don’t know what I’d do if I lost you, or Annie. Especially you. But we have to be strong. Come here, turn over."

Bertholdt hesitates. He doesn’t want to turn his back to Connie. But Reiner’s already shifted to give him space to move. Berthold rolls onto his back and then to his other side, facing his friend. Calloused thumbs wiped the tears that had fallen past his eye lashes.

"Hey, don’t cry. I have you."

Reiner kisses Bertholdt’s mouth. He doesn’t get a response but it doesn’t dissuade him. He keeps pressing his lips to Bertholdt’s until the taller man’s muscles begin to go lax. His hand strokes up and down his spine, eventually settling at the nape of Bertholdt’s neck.

The whispers and murmurs die down. Even Jean’s muffled whimpers eventually go quiet. 

"This," Reiner whispers, "isn’t on us."

Bertholdt doesn’t respond. Even when Reiner falls asleep, the ringing chorus of Marco’s name screams through his mind.

Of course it’s on him.

**Author's Note:**

> You can find me at mechanicalpoet.tumblr.com.


End file.
